“Why don’t you come over to my place?” Stacy said.
It’s been three years. Three years of a distant but solid acquaintance. We were 12 when I first laid eyes on her. She is tall and lean, always poised and graceful. Her ballerina stance never seems to have left her. Freckles peppered her shoulders until the arch of her back, but her long wavy blonde hair draped gracefully across them. Her bangs hit just above her lethargic blue eyes, blue eyes that have a way of making you feel both calm but very vulnerable. And how could I even begin explaining her smile? When she smiles, her eyes squint a bit, her cheeks flush and her lips just curl a little bit — like a little girl with a secret. It makes me go crazy.
“Riley, let’s go through the back door,”
At first I did not understand why I was feeling this way towards her. We were never really formally introduced, but when I first laid eyes on her, I knew, just knew, that this girl was special from all the others. She had this way of calling my name, with a little twist in the first syllable, “Ryyyye-lee”, instead of the usual “Rye-lee.” But it’s not annoying. I actually find it cute, like her own little pet name for me. The first few times we got to talk, she caught me by surprise. Most girls would only be interested in Gossip Girl and shoes, but we talked about music. Real music, not tweeny-pop songs by Disney poster kids. She asked me if I played the guitar, which I did, and then she started going on about Led Zeppelin, The Cure.. ahh all those bands I adored! Turns out, we shared the same taste in music. For several more occasions, we talked about things boys and girls don’t usually discuss in school or wherever. Animal rights, environmental awareness, J.D. Salinger — these were the things that count! Soon, it all made sense to me: this girl is tugging the strings of my heart.
“I’m home!” Stacy called out, then looked at me and said, “Sorry the house’s a mess. I didn’t clean up because I didn’t expect you to come by today. It’s been a while since anyone came over actually,”
“It’s okay,” I said.
She never liked talking much about the past. She said there was no point because there is nothing that can be done about it. Well, she did not say that to me directly but I heard her telling it to a friend when I was eavesdropping on a conversation in the kitchen one time. In fact, we never got to talking about her past, especially her most recent break-up. The so-called love of her life walked out on her because “she just did not interest him anymore.” What a jerk. She could stir up the most vivid conversations with me and I would never get bored. I don’t get why people can just let girls like her go — are they stupid? If I had her for myself, I would try to always make her the happiest woman in the planet.
“It’s so hot! I want to go out for a swim, Rye! Don’t you?”
“Sure,”
“Let me just go change. I’ll call you out when I’m ready,”
I paced around the living room for a bit. These little sudden trips to their house are always a delight to me. The spontaneity of this friendship is what makes it all the more exciting for me. She is most beautiful to me when I see her at home, in her natural and ordinary ways. She doesn’t care if there are visitors or not, if there are people watching her every move, she is just herself all the time. I guess that makes it easy for me to always swing by their house often. I don’t ever feel like I’m not welcome. If anything, I almost feel like a part of their family, their home. Almost.
I accidentally take a peep at the window and catch a glimpse of her outside, basking in the sunshine’s wonderful glory. The rays hitting her perfectly chiseled face and her slender frame just makes me want to go out there and hold her.. and make her mine.
This was it. This was the moment. I knew I had to tell her someday, but I guess that day could be right now. I have nothing to lose. If I don’t go out there and tell her now, I might risk losing her forever.
*splash*
I slowly made my way to the back yard. She had this look on her face that was a little startled and confused. What, did she not expect me to come out and join her yet? I could hear my heartbeat in my ear, with each second it grows louder and louder as if to pressure me to make my move. I managed to put on a smile, but before I could begin talking, she wrapped herself in a towel and sat beside me.
“So, we haven’t talked for a while. How are you?” she asked me.
Oh God, that smile just sent a trillion synapses down my spine.
“Uhm, I-I-I’m good,” I stuttered.
“Good,” she said. “It’s been a while since you came here, I actually kind of missed you,”
I think I just died.
“Uhm,” I started. “There’s something I need to tell you..”
“What is it?”
“I—-“
This was it. Say it. Say it.
“I—-“
“Oh! There you are!” Stacy said as she walked out the door. “Sorry I didn’t tell you that Riley was coming over, Mom,”
“That’s okay,” she said. She stood up and started walking towards the house. “I’ll leave you two kids alone now,”
Then she winked at us.
Stacy giggled.
Stacy can’t you see, you’re just not the girl for me?
